« on: May 13, 2015, 03:11:19 PM »
I think some people assume that the level of contention and negativity they themselves are comfortable with are the "correct" levels of contention and negativity, even when they are in a public place and the great majority of other people in that place disagree about what level of contention and negativity are optimal.
When you're in your own home, you get to decide all the rules. Should the lights be on or off? Should music be playing? TV on or off? What should the temperature be?
In a public place, each individual can't decide all the rules because the environment is shared. So what might be suitable for one person, what they might think is "obviously best," might not be what others want.
Is this unfair, or an example of some people being given favorite status? Or is it maybe an example of a public place being fine-tuned to fit, as closely as possible, the preferences of a wide range of people? If your preferences are outside the norm (for example, if you favor a style of discussion that is more confrontational) you might be happier if you accepted that fact, rather than assuming everyone else is always being unfair to you.