Childless couples

[hdibrell]

Ok...well my wife and I are in the opposite boat. We have two and found out today number three will be boy number 3 in august and we wouldn't change it for the world!

We are probably not the norm however and many of our friends with children find us a bit odd, only in that we do not necessarily subscribe to the average family paradigm as my wife is an artist and self employed, I am a musician/artist with 3 jobs and we are always on the go, and the kids just adapt to that.

We still go on trips, I do shows out of state and the kids have never been a road block or issue.

Paul

Way to go Paul!! It is a challenge that can be met, and rewarding as well. We did 3 girls! OMG, No wonder I have a huge bald spot and grey hair!!!!    Harry

[Wayne Higgins]

...stress and worry of a teenager....


No stress at all. :D

[mgriffin]

Actually I think a lot of parents of teens aren't stressed/worried at all, because they're totally in denial about what their kid is REALLY doing.

"Hey mom, can I stay the night at Sally's?  We want to watch Princess Diaries 3 and make cookies!"

...is actually secret teenager code for:

"Sally and I are going to meet these college boys, drink 19 bottles of raspberry Smirnoff Ice, have clumsy, unprotected sex in the park, and then go drunken joy-riding in Billy's jeep out by the reservoir"

[Joe R]

I have a 20 year old daughter who has NEVER had a sip of alcohol, NEVER smoked a cigarette or a joint, never took a drug of any kind, and won't drink anything with caffeine. She'll eat no fat; the only meat she eats is boiled chicken breast without the skin. She'll eat no salt, and no packaged food, just fresh fruits and vegetables (boiled sometimes). She works out everyday at the gym and does pilates everyday at home. She has a job, and is getting A's and B's in college. She's considered to be VERY good looking by all the boys. She's never been in trouble of any kind, never had a traffic ticket, never needed any sort of discipline ever. When she leaves the house she says "'Bye mom, 'bye dad, love you."

And yet I'm STILL stressed about her. She's too perfect. She'a a rigid perfectionist who drives herself too hard to be "the best". As a result, she's often stressed out about some imagined catastrophic failure that she'll never recover from. She can be very moody and snarly. She's on anxiety medication and anti-depressants. She's prone to getting hysterical. I wish she'd just relax a bit and learn to enjoy the simple things.

I don't know where she gets it from, neither me or her mother are that way. It's very ironic that too much of a good thing can actually be a bad thing.   

[einstein36]

Okay..I know I am a single bachelor living the life:) but having been an observer of life most of my life:)...2 things come to mind is society peer pressure being that we as a society must look physically fit and be a supermodel esp with the latest fads to become a vegitarian and eat no meat so I can look like a supermodel along with the many other peer pressures out there, or 2, she's developed a case of obessive compulsion disorder..just small observance based on her habits there.. ;)

I have a 20 year old daughter who has NEVER had a sip of alcohol, NEVER smoked a cigarette or a joint, never took a drug of any kind, and won't drink anything with caffeine. She'll eat no fat; the only meat she eats is boiled chicken breast without the skin. She'll eat no salt, and no packaged food, just fresh fruits and vegetables (boiled sometimes). She works out everyday at the gym and does pilates everyday at home. She has a job, and is getting A's and B's in college. She's considered to be VERY good looking by all the boys. She's never been in trouble of any kind, never had a traffic ticket, never needed any sort of discipline ever. When she leaves the house she says "'Bye mom, 'bye dad, love you."

And yet I'm STILL stressed about her. She's too perfect. She'a a rigid perfectionist who drives herself too hard to be "the best". As a result, she's often stressed out about some imagined catastrophic failure that she'll never recover from. She can be very moody and snarly. She's on anxiety medication and anti-depressants. She's prone to getting hysterical. I wish she'd just relax a bit and learn to enjoy the simple things.

I don't know where she gets it from, neither me or her mother are that way. It's very ironic that too much of a good thing can actually be a bad thing.   

[Joe R]

Einstein- Yes, she's a bit obsessive-compulsive. One of her medications is supposed to combat that particular malady.

[einstein36]

ahhh....I just hope she will soon to 'stop and smell the roses' of life soon and not get too burned out..:)

Einstein- Yes, she's a bit obsessive-compulsive. One of her medications is supposed to combat that particular malady.

[jim brenholts]

I have a 20 year old daughter who has NEVER had a sip of alcohol, NEVER smoked a cigarette or a joint, never took a drug of any kind, and won't drink anything with caffeine. She'll eat no fat; the only meat she eats is boiled chicken breast without the skin. She'll eat no salt, and no packaged food, just fresh fruits and vegetables (boiled sometimes). She works out everyday at the gym and does pilates everyday at home. She has a job, and is getting A's and B's in college. She's considered to be VERY good looking by all the boys. She's never been in trouble of any kind, never had a traffic ticket, never needed any sort of discipline ever. When she leaves the house she says "'Bye mom, 'bye dad, love you."

And yet I'm STILL stressed about her. She's too perfect. She'a a rigid perfectionist who drives herself too hard to be "the best". As a result, she's often stressed out about some imagined catastrophic failure that she'll never recover from. She can be very moody and snarly. She's on anxiety medication and anti-depressants. She's prone to getting hysterical. I wish she'd just relax a bit and learn to enjoy the simple things.

I don't know where she gets it from, neither me or her mother are that way. It's very ironic that too much of a good thing can actually be a bad thing.   

my brother-in-law had a child like that - until she got busted with 5 or 6 stamp bags of heroin. she was 14 at the time and we went through hell with her for the next 8 years. she is clean and sober now and her father still maintains her innocence. but he's an asshole to the 10th power. (he abused her when she was in her pre-teens.)

[Joe R]

That's a bad story... but I don't think we have to worry about something like that. She's so militantly anti-drug, and I can't see that EVER changing.

[mgriffin]

We just spent some time visiting Lena's relatives in Indiana, and many youngsters were around.

What I always find, after having spent time with kids, is that no matter whether or not I like the kids in question (and Lena's niece and nephew, I guess my niece and nephew too now, are really cute and smart) it just reinforces my certainty that I am better off not having children.

It's such a strange thing.  I can spend an enjoyable stretch of time hanging around with a clever and charming little 6-year-old, joking around and having fun, with no problems, no tantrums or crying, and yet afterward I still think to myself I'd rather not have one of those little people in my house every day!

It makes perfect sense that when I see a little spoiled brat freaking out and acting insane, I'd be turned off at the idea of parenthood -- but for me, the same thing is reinforced every time, whatever the kid(s) act like.

[jim brenholts]

n.

It's such a strange thing.  I can spend an enjoyable stretch of time hanging around with a clever and charming little 6-year-old, joking around and having fun, with no problems, no tantrums or crying, and yet afterward I still think to myself I'd rather not have one of those little people in my house every day!

It makes perfect sense that when I see a little spoiled brat freaking out and acting insane, I'd be turned off at the idea of parenthood -- but for me, the same thing is reinforced every time, whatever the kid(s) act like.

i understand exactly how you feel, mike. when all i had were nieces and nephews, it was great to have them around but the tantrums were a real drag. however, now that i have grandchildren i find myself wishing that i had my own children - but only for brief moments. they would not have had a good life with an active alcoholic addict for a father. and changing anything from the past would change what i am and what i have today and i would not change anything at all!

[APK]

I don't think there is much comparison between other people's children
and you own. Different kettle of fish entirely.

[mgriffin]

I don't think there is much comparison between other people's children
and you own. Different kettle of fish entirely.

Yeah, that's what Lena's sister was saying (and many others say this as well), and of course I believe it's true that whether the child is well-behaved or poorly-behaved.

[APK]

Right ... its like getting a fender-bender on your car vs a friend getting one on his/her car.