It's true that most people are really terrible at writing announcements of ambient music releases. Of course words have a hard time describing this sort of thing, but sometimes really don't help themselves with the hype and excess in these announcements. As you say, "destined to be an all-time classic" is hilarious and I can't believe anybody seriously thinks this kind of thing will convince people to buy an album.
My personal pet-peeve, which just about completely prevents me from ever taking a recording seriously, is misuse of the word "stunning." This word has been misappropriated to mean everything from "impressive" to "beautiful" to "accomplished" and I don't really know why this bugs me so much, but I just can't stand it. Stunning should mean STUNNING... it should be reserved for extremes. A pretty, mellow album of ambient piano music isn't STUNNING. It's just the wrong word 99% of the time it's used and yet it appears in most of the ambient music press releases I've seen. Worse yet: "absolutely stunning." I recall one press release (in fact if I recall, I really did like the music -- maybe something on Infraction?) that referred to the thing as "stunning, stunning" music or some such. I'm waiting for the first "stunning, stunning, stunning" album which will no doubt lead some other artist to make the creative leap to record something "stunning, stunning, stunning, stunning." It's sort of like razor blades. The five-blade razor inevitably calls forth the six-blade razor.
Of course, we're all guilty of our own shortcuts, overstatement, vague language and "what the fuck does that mean?" moments when it comes to writing this kind of stuff. But for me, "stunning" is just about a deal-breaker!