Hi, I have a situation I was hoping to get some opinions on, without having to write to a newspaper column (haha). Here is my situation:
I have a female cousin who I barely knew growing up (they live far away) and would only see every four or five years. I had never had any problems or "incidents" with this cousin. 15 years ago, when my grandmother died, we both attended the funeral. She was very unfriendly and downright rude during the funeral trip and I couldn't figure out what her problem was. I had no contact with her after that. Ten years later, when my father died, we (my mother and I) never received any condolence card, email, or phone call from her. Her mother (my aunt) was with us, however, as was another male cousin. This was very hurtful to me, not necessarily just to me, but I was upset that not even my mother heard anything. After that it was clear she was not a true "family member." Several years later, my aunt sent me a wedding invitation for this cousin, and I declined, and explained my reasons to my aunt. I made it clear I was not happy with the cousin's behavior in the past.
This year, I requested my aunt discontinue mailing me X-mas presents. Instead, I requested she make a donation to charity in my name. She did this; however, the organization she chose was run and co-founded by this cousin! A couple weeks after X-mas I received a form letter, hand-signed by the cousin and hand-addressed to me, thanking me for the donation in my name. There was no personal note or acknowledgement of my existence as her cousin.
I was not happy my aunt chose this organization knowing my feelings about her daughter, and wasn't happy getting the "form letter" on top of that.
Am I making too big a deal about this or do I have a right to be upset/offended?
