Author Topic: Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated  (Read 4676 times)

drone on

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Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated
« on: January 23, 2015, 01:04:14 AM »
A female coworker and I had been getting more personal and friendly recently after 6 years of simply cordial greeting and sporadic smalltalk.  Recently she asked me to help her lose weight because she noticed I had really slimmed down.  I was flattered and really wanted to share my knowledge and what worked for me.  I suggested meeting at Starbucks after work for privacy and curbing nosy coworkers.  I had copies of some great material to give her and planned to help her write out a program she could use to start losing weight.  She said sure, thanks for being willing to help me...but she said she was too busy that week and could we do it the next week.  I emailed asking if she worked the following Friday as it would be a good day for me. 

I never got a reply and she acts like it never happened.  (She did receive and read the email.). No mention of it.  Really pissed me off because I had already invested time in this, gave her a protein drink and a few helpful tips. I think it's really rude not to respond at all and suddenly drop it.  My theory is she thought I had romantic ulterior motives, especially since her female coworker buddies are very catty and gossipy and maybe they gave her this idea.  Or she got cold feet attempting to diet. Who knows.  But it's made it weird for me because I feel she ignored me and was inconsiderate.  So I've been avoiding her and keeping conversations to a minimum.   How would you handle this?

Analoguekid

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Re: Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2015, 03:48:40 AM »
The best approach is to be polite, smile and ask her why she hadn't replied to your last email, but before she has chance to answer say " I was worried that I had made you feel uneasy or something, which was not my intention" That is how I would handle it. The worse thing to do is for you to avoid her because that looks like, well; you are avoiding her :-)

drone on

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Re: Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2015, 01:47:09 AM »
Thanks.  Yeah, being butt-hurt about it isn't getting me anywhere.  I'm going to bring it up and try to think of the right thing to say.  I don't like to let things linger without clearing the air if I can.

Bill Binkelman

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Re: Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2015, 07:00:25 PM »
The best approach is to be polite, smile and ask her why she hadn't replied to your last email, but before she has chance to answer say " I was worried that I had made you feel uneasy or something, which was not my intention" That is how I would handle it. The worse thing to do is for you to avoid her because that looks like, well; you are avoiding her :-)

This is really good advice. Couldn't say it better myself.
May the odds be ever in your favor.

drone on

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Re: Another weird coworker situation--advice/comments appreciated
« Reply #4 on: February 04, 2015, 12:18:19 PM »
The old me would've apologized for other's rude behavior, but since I don't do that anymore, "sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" is not an option.  If they're uncomfortable, that's their f***** issue!   I've gotten so sick of always being sensitive to others feelings  yet the majority of people nowadays are oblivious to everything except themselves and their cell phone.  In this situation, I'm torn between dropping the whole thing or bringing it up.  If this person doesn't give a shit about me, why should I care?